THE AWESOME POWER OF FAITH
by Al and Barbara Amatruda

"WELCOME TO PARADISE ...TOPSAIL ISLAND" reads the billboard at the Route 210 East exit off Route 17 in North Carolina. The billboard may be referring to the idyllic, rarely crowded, beaches of Topsail Island, but it could just as easily be directing the weary to the Christian Family Living Center on North Topsail Beach, just a few miles away, where the paradise of spiritual renewal is often realized by families of all Christian faiths.

The story of the Christian Family Living Center has its roots many years ago in the person of Jim Rider. The life of this man is so fascinating that it would take a separate article to do it justice. He joined the Marine Corps in 1952, age 17, right out of high school. He did a two-year stint as a rifleman in Korea, and upon discharge, joined the reserves so he could attend Cornell University. He graduated in 1959 and went back into active service in the Marine Corps, became a naval aviator, and saw some intense action in Vietnam as a medevac and gunship pilot. The Marine Corps then sent him to graduate school to get a master's degree. He retired from the Corps in 1978 and got a Ph.D. in Child Development and Family Relations. Then he continued to work part time for the University of Southern California by teaching at military bases throughout the country. As an added challenge he became a marathon runner. Throughout this time he managed to squeeze in getting married and having seven children. This amazing man and his wife, Sue, while he was in the service, began to formulate a faith-driven dream that has continued for over 25 years.

Our small part in this began in November 2002 when I attended a men's retreat at the Christian Family Living Center in North Topsail Beach, N.C. I was very impressed with the basic but comfortable accommodations and food. However, the retreat, and I have been to many, exceeded my most optimistic expectations. I went to a second retreat the following year and that left me thinking about what a rewarding experience it was. For most of us, faith must be nourished, and retreats are a magnificent way of fortifying one's faith.

Then in October 2003 my wife, Barbara, went on a Walk to Emmaus sponsored by the Coastal Carolina Emmaus group. This was a three-day retreat, and she felt it was the most beautiful and overwhelming religious experience of her life. At this point we both agreed that those who run these retreats deserve enormous credit. I began to reflect on how such a wonderful place, available to all in a beach setting, providing an opportunity for prayer, reflection and giving glory to God, came to be. As we explored the origins of the Family Living Center we discovered a spiritual adventure taken by extraordinary people that should be shared and perhaps be an inspiration to others.

It all began in 1973 when Jim Rider and Sue began to question where the various
extracurricular activities of their large family of seven children were taking them. They felt splintered as a family, going to scouts, sports and the many activities of a typical American family. Doing these things together just did not happen very often. They wanted to share in a family religious experience and so spent a week at a Marianist Family Retreat Center in Cape May Point, N.J. The family enjoyed the experience so much they chose to return again in 1974, after the children voted for the Marianist family retreat over a different type of vacation such as Disney World. In 1975 their daughter Mary served for six weeks as a staff member at the Cape May Point facility and in 1976 the Rider family served as "Host Family" for two weeks.

In 1975 Jim was transferred to the Marine Corps Air Station, New River, N.C. At this time the Riders began talking to another family, the Mirandas, and with the Marianist priests and brothers, about joining their ministry. The Riders put their thoughts in a letter to the Marianists. Coincidentally, at the time this letter was received, Father Bill Collins, Society of Mary (SM), was also contacting the Marianists about joining the Cape May Point SM community in family ministry. The graces from God began to flow and the Marianists decided to establish a ministry in North Carolina.

The ministry began very modestly in 1976 with family weekend retreats followed in 1977 by two week-long summer retreats, held at the Rider home. For the first summer, they planned four gatherings, but only had two because they were not well known. The Marianists supported the venture by supplying Father Bill Collins, Brother Al Koch and Sister Gretchen Trautman. Over-staffing was considered important to give the budding project every chance for success. Steady progress was made with more retreats added. The team of Marianists and the Riders expanded their programs to include weekend retreats for friends, Cursillistas and Charismatic renewal groups. During one of the retreat weeks, all attending were invited to the Marine Corps Air Station at New River to witness Jim Rider’s retirement as Lieutenant Colonel.

The family program was growing and it became apparent that the Riders' home was inadequate. The children were getting a bit tired of vacating their bedrooms every summer. The Marianists heard that property owned by the Episcopal church was for sale in Salter Path, N.C., and although this was not the case, the Episcopalians offered to share the facility with the family ministry. The family program moved into the Alice B. Hoffman Center in the summer of 1979 and had participants for seven of the eight weeks that were offered.

This article cannot do justice to the many faith-driven priests, religious and lay people involved in this success. Weekly retreats were offered to families of all faiths. Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Episcopalians and Catholics took advantage of the facility. Shelter was also provided to homeless families if the need arose. This was truly Christian faith in action; doing God's will.

In 1987 a major event took place. $500,000 was given by the Marianists to help the lay leaders build a family retreat center. This involved a lot of planning and input from the Marianists, the Diocese of Raleigh, and most importantly, the lay people involved. From the onset, the Marianist priests and brothers, religious and clergy from other orders and other denominations and a growing number of involved lay people began turning a dream into a reality. A corporation was formed, the Marianist Family Ministry, Inc.; a non-profit, tax-exempt body serving families of all Christian faiths.

The building fund drive was supported by CFL families, excited by the prospect of having their very own facility. An impressive $311,000 was donated. What started with one dedicated family, the Riders, had exploded into a major undertaking. Father Bill Collins, along with Jim Rider, took on the task of finding property, and recommended purchasing over an acre on Topsail Island, across the street from the ocean. Ground was broken in 1987 and two buildings were completed.

The first summer of retreats began in July 1988. Once again God provided, and through the generosity of many, furniture and other items needed to run the facility were donated. The family programs were an overwhelming success and in 1992 a third building was completed, using funds loaned by CFL families who in turn donated back all interest earned on the loans. In 1995 a manager whose family had experienced CFL, Joe DiCostanzo, volunteered to replace the retiring director, Jim Rider. Joe provided the business experience that was needed for the facility to grow and prosper. After several years of generously working strictly as a volunteer, Joe was given a salary and minimum benefits.

Since Mother Nature does not play favorites, Hurricane Fran struck in 1996 and caused significant damage. The Center was without water for 77 days. Once again, volunteers came in droves and with their help and insurance reimbursement, repairs and improvements were made to the facility. Hurricane Floyd caused damage in 1999 and again blessed volunteers not only helped to restore the facility, but again, made it better.

In November 1999, Father Rich Kuhn, SM, and Brother Ray McQuade, SM, moved to Topsail Island to lend permanent support to the growing pastoral needs of the CFL community. Brother Frank Smith, SM, joined them in 2000. These wonderful men of God have given tirelessly of their time and talent.

In October 2003 another tragedy struck. Many of us would have been discouraged at this point but the CFL community dealt with this in their usual positive, faithful manner. A devastating fire severely damaged one of the CFL buildings. The roof, office, director's apartment and many bedrooms were completely destroyed. Through God's graces and the determination of the CFL community, the damaged building is currently being restored with an additional floor added.

When rebuilding is completed the facility will consist of three buildings holding 18 bedrooms. The facility also has a large commercial kitchen, dining room, laundry room, meeting room, chapel, play room and a large play yard for children.

The Center is used throughout the year. Family week retreats run all summer - from Sunday to Friday. Weekends are also full with groups from all Christian denominations. In 2004, more than 130 families from 17 states came to the Center, which also hosted more than 50 nonprofit and religious organizations that train lay leaders, protect the environment and nourish souls.

Since CFL is faith-based rather than profit-driven, costs are kept to a minimum. Families who come agree to volunteer at various jobs including kitchen help, supervising toddlers and other duties. This community effort enhances the value of the retreat. "In today's chaotic world, the Christian Family Living Center provides a shelter in a storm." This is from a CFL newsletter. The MFM retreat program focuses on the elements of Hospitality, Affirmation, Communication, Forgiveness, Commitment, and Call to Serve. These elements are emphasized throughout the week with interactive plays and skits put on by kids and adults alike. "The experience of being told by your family that you are good, loved, and forgiven as well as the experience of telling your family the same, are gifts to be treasured." (from CFL Good News, Judy DiCostanzo) To complete the wonderful experience, afternoons are free to enjoy the beautiful beach across the street from the center.

When one stops to think that this all started over 25 years ago when one family, the Riders, inspired by a Marianist retreat in New Jersey, opened their home with a weekend program for 10 to 15 people, it is truly awe-inspiring. So far, in 2005, 101 families, comprised of 484 individuals from 15 states and two foreign countries joined "God the Builder" at CFL. It is estimated that approximately 2,500 participants will have visited CFL during 2005.

It would take another article to include all those who helped along the way to make CFL what it is today. The finite mind cannot understand the infinite power of God. To bridge the incredible mysteries involved, we have to depend on the faith God has given us - the awesome power of faith. For more information about CFL, call 910-328-1584.

Al and Barbara Amatruda live in Hampstead, North Carolina. They teach Bible Study
at St Jude the Apostle Catholic Church in Hampstead.